Transitioning to a Different Kind of Night Life
Dani and Vernon James were married on September 29, 2012 at the Agora Event Center in Conway, AR.
I couldn’t believe the day had finally arrived! After all the planning, cursing, tears of frustration and joy, the day was finally here! I remember getting to the hotel, having breakfast with my beautiful bridesmaids and laughing and telling jokes as we all got ready. The Day went by so smooth, everyone had great attitudes and got along well. That says A LOT for 10 women trying to get dressed together in one room. Then the time came for me to put on my dress. It was just myself and my mother.
I will never forget being able to spend that time with her. We laughed and cried and laughed some more.
We took our bridesmaid/groomsmen pics beforehand which was so much fun!
We headed to the Agora and waited for the time to come. I remember when I was the only one left in the room, I could here the music playing and that was the first time my stomach turned. I realized that the time was here, no turning back. I was nervous but it was from a good place. I was so ready for this day. I walked out to meet my Daddy and I couldn’t hold back the tears, I cried from that point on lol.
As I walked down the aisle to “Spend my Life” the only person I saw was Vernon. It was so surreal! The ceremony was perfect in every way! We said I do and the rest is history! It’s been 2 years and I am more in love today than I was on our wedding day.
“On a day, on a day like today…
I’ll find my way to you…”
Love is beautiful. But there is just something extraordinary about black love. About two people that have all odds stacked against them in the world coming together to form a union and love each other and conquer the world as one.
Black love is rarely showcased so I am going to use my blog as a platform for that. This blog is about things I love and love and marriage is like number 2 on my list of favorite things (only behind Prince Rogers Nelson).
“Oh my God. I just started a business. I have no idea how to run a business. What have I gotten myself into?”
This is exactly what I said to myself when I started my small baking business a year and a half ago. What the hell have I done? How am I going to manage this? Am I breaking even? I don’t know. Because I have no idea what I’m doing.
Cooking and baking always came natural to me. I used to bake all the time when I was younger. Then I discovered boys and makeup and well, fuck baking that pie.
Picture it, the year 2011 and I decided to host Christmas dinner. But what am I going to make for dessert? I chose to make a chocolate cheesecake. Found the recipe in a Kraft Food magazine. I made it and it was perfect. I was proud. I was like yes, I got this.
In 2013, I made my friend a molten chocolate cupcake. I got real fancy with it and put chocolate shavings on top and posted it to Instagram.
Someone commented and asked if I sold them and I was like, nah. I do this for fun.
The very next day, I took the remainder of these cupcakes and some vanilla ones to a Super Bowl party and was asked the same question. “Do you sell these?” Again, I answered no, but in my mind I was like, shooootttt I need to get my hustle on!
I had to determine what would set me apart from the other bakeries around. Since I was small and home based, I decided to just specialize in made to order goods. I make on demand, just allow me 48 hours to prepare your order. If you think of a flavor, I can make it for you. If you want something special for a birthday or any event, I will make it for you and if I can’t I won’t bullshit you about it.
I started making cupcakes, cakes and cookies, all from scratch and mixed by hand, and posting them to my Instagram account. Then I had to find a name for my business that wasn’t corny or pretentious. I remembered that my old coworker would call me Tia Coco. I had no idea why she called me that, but it was fake fancy like me, so I went with that name for my business.
After posting enough pictures to my Instagram page, I got a little bit of a buzz from some of my friends. I would just make cupcakes and take them to local businesses or save them for my friends so they wouldn’t go to waste. I was just self promoting myself so that one person would like what they had and make an order.
I honestly cannot tell you when my business took off, but it did. And I was overwhelmed, yet thankful. I didn’t know how to run my business, keep track of the money I made, if I was running a trap house. Nothing. But I had faith and I kept going.
June 2013, a local boutique that I would take my extra cupcakes to offered me the opportunity to do a cupcake bar. I was so nervous and was like please let these people like my cupcakes.
Well the customers did and I was contracted to do all the dessert bars at that boutique for the rest of the year. People would be so excited to see what flavors I would come up with next. That made me feel so good. Like I had finally found what I was good at.
As always in every love story, there must be an interruption. About a year ago I almost quit because i was financially drained. As I stated, I had no idea how to run a business. I had to reevaluate my business, how I took orders, my book keeping, the value of my products and had to stop giving out the homegirl discount. Making these changes worked and I continued on.
Everyone has a special something that sets them apart. Find what you love to do and make it a hobby. That hobby may turn into something profitable or just give you an escape from life.
I never thought in a million years that making a chocolate molten cupcake for my friend and posting it on Instagram would result in me having a booming business.
I am very proud of my business and one day hope to open my own bakery or just have someone lurk my Instagram page and put me on. I think I’ve worked hard enough for that small break!
*Visit my business IG page, tiacococupcakes, to see more pictures of my goodies.*
“Women are supposed to be better than men. They are supposed to be held to a higher standard. That’s why it’s different when women do or try to do what men do.”- S. Kaine
I was kind of salty when I agreed with that because I like the thought of equality and what not, but when I heard that statement, everything about it made sense.
When did women stop feeling? When did we become so quick to give up on a relationship at the first sign of trouble? When did we decide to just throw in the towel and say fuck it the first time he says something that we don’t like?
When did we start wanting the benefits of a relationship but not wanting to put in work for it? Your Instagram page tells the story of how you don’t really know what you want. At the top of the morning, your fall back game is like Neo from the Matrix. At lunch, theres a Tony Gaskins Jr. quote. Before bed, you just want someone to cuddle with and be there when you’re down.
How is someone going to be all that to you when you won’t even fight for the cause? When you’re so quick to dismiss someone over something small, how can you be ready to fight for forever?
The first time he text with a grammatical error, you ready to write him off but then the next minute you’re on twitter talking about not being able to find someone to love you. Maybe someone could love you if you just corrected his grammatical error in a nice way with a cute emoji under it.
You want to be married, but are you ready for a union? Ready to be a wife and not just a bride? Ready for the ups and downs and the bad days? How will someone know that if your fall back game like….
Relationships and marriage are not all butterflies and rainbows. There are going to be some days when you look upside your mates head and be like, “this dingbat gets on my last nerve.” But if you’re in it to win it, you’ll want that to be the only person to get on your nerves forever.
I know you’ve said in your head at least once, “but men do”. Well I’m a woman. I can only talk about things I see my fellow women doing and that I have been guilty of.
“Women are supposed to be better than men. They are supposed to be held to a higher standard. That’s why it’s different when women do or try to do what men do.”
The man is the leader of the house, but the woman is the heart of it. The softness, the love, the nurturer. Men and women were built to be emotionally different. That may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth. A man needs a woman to be his peace. But if you’re more concerned about your fall back game and taking on the mannerisms of a man when that is not what you were put on this Earth for, how will you maintain a forever bond?
I’m not saying stop dismissing people over small stuff. I’m not saying to not fall back if you’re tired of trying to make fetch happen. I’m simply suggesting that it would be in your best interest to stop dismissing people over minuscule things and then making a meme about it and posting it to a social media website like you’re proud that you don’t have feelings. That is not a good look. It’s basically saying if you fuck up, I’m out. Fuck love and this union.
It’s ok to feel. It’s ok to be emotional. (Emotional,not crazy lady psycho pants). It’s ok to fall for someone and it not work out. That’s life. That’s dating. That’s what you do until the one comes along. Love and love hard. Because people with no emotions are classified as sociopaths and you don’t want to be one of those, now do you?
If things don’t work out with you and the flavor of the month, just live and let live. And don’t tweegram your way through it when it’s over.
Deal?
Deal.
Ingredients
1 pint of heavy cream
3 cloves of fresh garlic
2 tbsp of butter
Romana cheese or Parmesan cheese (in the fancy cheese section, not the pre-shredded kind)
1 lb of Penne Pasta
1 package of boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 cup of mushrooms
1 tomato, diced
Salt
Pepper
Cayenne Pepper
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Directions
Shred cheese and set aside.
Cut chicken into strips and season with salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. Sear on medium high heat until no longer pink. Then turn the heat down to medium low and let cook for an additional 15 minutes.
Boil pasta according to package directions.
Heat medium size skillet on medium low heat. While the skillet is getting hot, peel garlic cloves and then chop into tiny pieces.
Sauté the garlic for about 3 minutes, add 1 cup of the heavy cream.
Stir the cream and the garlic around until the cream starts bubbling. Once you see it bubbling, add the cheese and stir around until all ingredients are mixed. Then add 1/4 tsp of cayenne pepper and black pepper. Taste and make sure that it is spicy enough for you. If it is, you are done. If you want it a bit spicier, add more cayenne until it reaches your liking.
Toss the pasta sauce and mushrooms in with the pasta until mixed well. Top with strips of chicken, tomato and sprinkle any leftover cheese you have and serve.
Ingredients
1 pack of boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 jar of Sun Dried tomatoes (drained)
1 package of mushrooms
1 jar of Alfredo Sauce
1 jar of pizza sauce
White cooking wine
Pre made thin pizza crust ( I use Mama Mia or Boboli)
Fresh mozzarella
Salt
Pepper
Italian Seasoning
Parsley
Olive Oil
Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Cut Chicken into 1″ chunks and season with black pepper, salt and Italian Pepper
Cook chicken in 1 tbsp of olive oil in a skillet over medium high heat until no longer pink, about 15 minutes. Set aside.
Grate your fresh mozzarella and set aside.
Mix 1/4 cup of the pizza sauce with 1/2 cup of the Alfredo sauce to make a pink sauce. Add 1 tbsp of the white wine to the mixture.
Brush the crust with enough olive oil to cover the surface. Spread the sauce on the pizza crust. Just enough to cover it, you don’t want your pizza to be soggy.
Top the sauce with the tomatoes, mushrooms and then the chicken. Top with the mozzarella cheese and spread evenly. Place pizza in the oven for 8 minutes. Remove and sprinkle with the parsley.
Quick and easy meal, especially on a Friday night.
This recipe came about from some leftovers,hunger and using what I had in my kitchen. This meal takes about 15 maybe 20 minutes to make.
Season the chicken with salt, pepper, curry and a dash of paprika. Sear on both sides on medium high heat in olive oil. Turn the heat to medium low and let simmer for fifteen minutes.
Cilantro Lime Rice
2 cups of water
1 cup of rice
Juice of 1 lime
1/4 cup of fresh cilantro
Directions: Cook rice according to package instructions. While the rice is cooking,start on the pineapple salsa.
Come back to the rice and add the lime and the cilantro. I add a dash of salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper. Stir together.
Pineapple Salsa
1/2 chopped red onion
1 tomato
1/4 cup of chopped jalepeno peppers
3/4 cup of chopped fresh pineapple
juice of 1/2 lime
1 tablespoon of fresh cilantro
Combine all ingredients except the juice of the lime and mix with fork. Once all ingredients are mixed, add the juice of the lime and stir again. Set aside.
Measure one cup of the rice out and place on plate. Top with the piece of chicken and then
spoon some of the salsa on top of the dish. Voila! Dinner is served!
Thank Gawd for Ms. Sammi Bivens, the owner of Tainted Rose. She has a great eye for trendy, yet classic pieces. Her products range from earrings, necklaces, bracelets and scarves. She is always up to date with her products and provides amazing customer service.
Sammi took a little break from her business but now it is back with the same quality products that she offered before. You can tell that this is Sammi’s passion by the service that she provides and the pieces that she orders. She has a true eye for fashion and what accessory is going to pull your ensemble together perfectly.
I logged on one day after the relaunch and she was already sold out of a few products. I was annoying girl at Starbucks level of I Can’t Even because I wanted this scarf more than anything in the world at the moment.
But she promised she would restock it so, my feelings are no longer hurt.
Please check out this young lady’s products. I promise you won’t be disappointed. The products range from $5 -$21.
Super affordable but not made in a cheap manner. I can testify that her products stand the test of time.
ShopTainted Rose is one of my favorite places to get accessories. The site is convenient and will fit your budget. Just type http://tainted-rose.myshopify.com in your phone or computer and bam. Beautiful accessories at your fingertips.
I saw an old co-worker at the store and after hugs were exchanged, the first thing she asked me was “are you seeing anyone?”
WHY IS THAT THE FIRST QUESTION YOU ASK WHEN YOU SEE ME?
I don’t know why these questions about my relationship status have been irking the shit out of me lately. There are so many other questions to ask me besides “are you seeing someone”
It’s almost like my worth or success is determined by my relationship status. Can I not live a rich, fulfilled life if I’m single? Do I have to have a mate for you to think I won’t be jumping out of the window of a two story building? Slit my wrist vertically with a butter knife? Eat my weight in Talenti gelato?
I have been bombarded with “You’re 30 and single and have this this and that going for you but you’re single. What’s wrong with you” faceass people since June 7, 2014.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. BEING SINGLE ISN’T A DISEASE!!!
Am I starting to sound bitter? I’m not…just kind of fed up with the questions.
I could have been married. Well, re-married. But I just was over trying to make fetch happen just to be married, so I didn’t do it and I don’t regret it one bit.
There are days when I wonder when my day will come. When I will get remarried? But I don’t stress out about it. Cause what good is that going to do?
I’m fine with being single. My life is good. I am happy. And I am happy because EYE am happy not because of someone else. My happiness has never been based on anyone else.
So people, PLEASE STOP ASKING WOMEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM WHEN THEY SAY THEY ARE SINGLE.
IT’S NOT A DISEASE.
IT’S NOT THE PLAGUE
IT’S NOT A DEATH SENTENCE
When it is time to find your heartmate, you will. Nothing wrong with being single and having fun and doing whatever the hell it is you want to do because you don’t have to answer to anyone.
And next time someone asks me why I’m 30 and single, I’m a tell them it’s cause I got tired of their Daddy’s shit.
weareatdo